talkin' 'bout Our Generation
Talkin' Bout Our Generation
The Science of Friendship
In a recent episode, we heard from listeners what their concept of friendship is. We heard many fascinating, thoughtful comments on friendship from many of you. One common theme was that friendship is essential to health, happiness and a crucial cure to loneliness. Friendship is clearly crucial to our lives.
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What is a "friend?"
Are people in our lives true friends, or just people we know?
How do we make our friends?
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How do we keep our friendships alive?
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What do we do when we lose our best friend?
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Who are our closest friends? Why?
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Is your husband or wife necessarily your best friend?
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Why is it easier for women to make friends than men?
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What effect does money have on friendship?
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How do we reach out and make younger friends?
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As our country is simmering on the growing flames torched by our current administration, friendship is more vital than ever. One good thing emerging from this conflagration is a new solidarity among neighbors, communities, as growing numbers of protesters inflamed by the shocking actions of ICE and every department of our government. Still, even with democracy crumbling, a pall of fear and uncertainty shrouding society, jobs evaporating, and the country bitterly divided between MAGA and Liberals, at least we still have our friends.
Or not. As we age, many of us are losing close friends. And many of us don't know how to make new friends -- we're becoming more and more isolated, cut off from the fast-flowing, changing world out there.
Our current episode consults with one of the world's top experts on Friendship, Dr. Rebecca Adams, Professor of Sociology and Gerontology, Health and Human Sciences, University of North Carolina Greensboro.​ She has published 58 research papers on Friendship, and has some answers to questions that are crucial to our happiness, health, and longevity:
Dr. Rebecca Adams
Another concern is our lack of younger friends. Many of us have families to fall back on, supportive children, and grandchildren to lift our spirits. But many of us don't. And even those who do experience the "empty nest" syndrome as our offspring go off to their own lives and may not be there for us.
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The consequence in many cases is what the former Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy called an "Epidemic of Loneliness:"
"Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling—it harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death.
"This Surgeon General’s Advisory shows us how to build more connected lives and a more connected society....If we fail to do so, we will pay an ever-increasing price in the form of our individual and collective health and well-being. And we will continue to splinter and divide until we can no longer stand as a community or a country. Instead of coming together to take on the great challenges before us, we will further retreat to our corners—angry, sick, and alone."(1)
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Worst is when we lose our lifelong partner. Women cope with the loss better than men, Dr. Adams explains, because they naturally find it easier to make friends, and men lack the same social skills. Consequently, men are more often left alone, depressed, and more prone to suicide.
That's the dark background to this episode. In contrast, Dr. Adams holds up a light and offers a guide to friendship. She defines friendship from a scientific perspective, and shows us the way to avoid falling into the abyss of that "Epidemic of Loneliness."
Listen to the Professor! And please let us know your thoughts by emailing Julian at julian@ourgenpod.com. And please donate if you can, to help us keep this award-winning podcast alive.
Thanks!
Great News!
We Won!!
OURGENPOD won the 2024 Discover Pods Award as Best Podcast
in the Society and Culture Category!
This is due in no small part to the support of our listeners.
THANK YOU to all of you who voted for us.
Notably, we came out on top of a crowded field.
More than 35,000 people voted.
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"Participation and, especially, voting this year far outpaced our expectations," said James Griffin, Director of the awards. "This speaks volumes about the state of independent podcast creators in this community ... and the fantastic work that you are doing."
We are hopeful that winning this award will open new avenues of support,
helping us continue our work on this award-winning podcast.
For now, we are continuing our series on FRIENDSHIP. It's
a vital connection between like-minded people that will be increasingly important
as we try to survive this extremely Hopefully, we'll be out with a new episode soon.
As many of you know, we have been producing this podcast on personal funds,
which hit bottom in a frightening financial pit, putting OURGENPOD in jeopardy.
We have been fighting our way out of this situation
for months now, as evidenced by the suspension of production.
If we are going to be able to continue producing this "fantastic work."
We can'tdo it without a little help from our friends.
Until we are able to once again find a sponsor or sponsors for the podcast,
we are relying on donations from you, our listeners, to help us keep this
vital work going. Now more than ever, we need friends to
hold our communities together, bolster the solidarity required to
resist the horrors all around us,
and keep democracy alive.
If you are able, please make a financial contribution of any size to OURGENPOD.
Rest assured that your gift is being put to good use with positive and solution-seeking dialogue,
an endangered aspect of our national discourse. Donate HERE.
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Again, thank all of you who voted for OURGENPOD! We did it!
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Thank you!
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Our Heartfelt Thanks
A few accolades from our Guests & Listeners ...
"Julian and Rob provide such a great service for the 55 Plus demographic. It is so under-served with good, cool, hip information and opportunities, and they do just that.”
Michael Shrieve
Musician, Drummer for Santana at Woodstock ‘69
Member of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
Guest on Episode 9
"I love the last episode on friendship! I had been thinking about that very
topic after my mother passed recently; Who was there for me and who wasn’t and why.
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"The Woodstock episodes were also interesting. Brought me back to my teen years and how my mother wouldn’t let me go with my neighbor! Imagine that!
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"Best of luck with future podcasts!"
Silvia Gambardella
Subscriber
"I am so glad I had a chance to listen to your Thanksgiving episode - It was thoughtful and timely and personal - really nicely done, I thought. When have any of us really read the Mayflower Compact and reflected on its true meaning and what they wanted to achieve? Or considered the intolerable conditions on the voyage? Or that a woman's significance was simply as someone's spouse...? Or related their hope for their future with what they would think of the country today? Or what our ancestors would think of US?
"So much to think about."
Gail Zetter
Subscriber
“I just want to let you know that the most recent episode of the podcast really knocked it out of the park.Dr. Shrand’s cure for incivility is indeed an excellent prescription for some of what ails our society.
Julian’s interviewing skills are excellent. He truly LISTENS to his guests and responds with thoughtful examinations and questions. Your podcast is always enlightening and makes me stop and think about matters that underly the angst that many of us feel daily. Solutions to big problems are not easy to find. But episodes such as the one with Dr. Shrand and the earlier one with CATHERINE RYAN HYDE certainly gives us all food for thought. Keep up the good work, gentlemen. We, your audience is listening. And remember, kindness is contagious.”
Eric Seedman
Subscriber
The State of Civility in America Series
“Civility is a value I care about. It’s the heart and soul of the original “Pay It Forward” idea,and is a central theme in my other 43 novels as well. We hear a lot today about the decline of civility in America, but what I feel we need is a more positive approach. How can we do better?
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"So I was honored to be the first guest on talkin’ ‘bout Our Generation’s’ series on “The State of Civility in America.” My interview with Host Julian Simmons was positive, friendly and thought-provoking, and I look forward to hearing future episodes. I believe this podcast is serving a very valuable service, the kind I envisioned when “the Pay It Forward Movement” first took hold. I encourage everyone to listen and lend their support to this timely and important podcast.”
Catherine Ryan Hyde
Author of the NYTimes Best-Selling Book,
“Pay It Forward”
Guest on Episode 11
"My readers often tell me that my characters make them think more about how we treat others, and how they can be a better person. Of course I’m thrilled if I can nudge my readers toward a kinder, more caring way of treating one another.
"I just want to say in support of your podcast ... the fact that you guys are taking on civility in a historic and liminal moment that has allowed rampant incivility to take over so much, I think what you're bringing to the conversation is important. And just as importantly, I think the fact that you are finding ways and finding people to come on to talk about civility is something that is fresh, because we're swimming in so much of its opposite and people will hear this and, and hopefully it will stimulate a movement to create civil spaces in our society."
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Dr. Shepherd Siegel,
Author of "Tricking Power Into Performing Acts of Love"
and "Disruptive Play: The Trickster in Politics and Culture."
Guest on Episodes 14 & 16
“I just finished listening to podcasts three and four. Each podcast is getting better and better. It's great. Although not a hippie, my friends and I were all about the music in college. My kids cannot believe that I loved Hendrix and Santana as well as John Sebastian and Lovin’ Spoonful. There was a real sense of community and caring for one another, and caring for the earth as well. I clearly remember the very first Earth Day. Thank you for your efforts to promote community and a sense of camaraderie among us,Julian and Rob. This podcast reminds us how being gentle with each other is a good thing.
Thanks!”
Arlene Wong
Subscriber
Wow. I just finished the podcast with Carol Green and Richie Havens. I'm just leaving this message because I want the producers directors to understand how awesome it was for me to be taken back to that time. You know, peace, love, and freedom, which I hadn't thought about in so many years, it's kind of relevant to today. So, I'm feeling good. It reminded me that we can still hope and believe and have faith that it's all gonna turn out okay in the end. So, thanks. Looking forward to the next podcast!
Suzette Fowler
Subscriber